What Do I Do Without You?
by Theflood1219
Summary: Phil and Lil have a big fight and wish not to see each other again. What if that wish came true? Losing a sister is one thing but, to lose a twin is more heart breaking than you can imagine.


What Do I Do Without You?

**Phil's point of view**

"Hey, Phil! Wake up! You got a big day today!" Mom (Betty) yelled from down the stairs as she was preparing breakfast. Lil was already down stairs fully dressed in her soccer uniform. It was Saturday, and I had to be up at 6 in the morning to play soccer at 7. It was terrible! I couldn't move from my bed. It was like I was glued to the bed. I finally rolled over and fell off my bed with a thud. Luckily, the pain from falling on the floor woke me up enough to go downstairs to get breakfast. I walked out of my room with my eyes closed, hitting every wall I could, and somehow managed to get down the stairs without falling on my face. I finally stumbled into the kitchen (Which seemed to take forever to get there), to find Lil and my mom staring at me a little concerned. "You ok there, Phil? You don't look so good?" said mom going back to focusing on the pancakes she was making.

"Yea, I'll be okay..." obviously not sounding okay. The truth is, that I wasn't. I woke up today with a sick feeling in my stomach; almost like something bad was going to happen today and I had this weird dream involving Lil but, I can't remember it. It's probably nothing; after all, it's just a dream, right?

"Jeez, Phil. What happened to you?" said Lil almost disgustedly. "You look like a bear coming out of hibernation." She pauses to take a bite of her pancakes. She continues with her mouth full. "You know, Phil, you shouldn't stay up so late; especially when you know you have the biggest game of the year the next morning."

"Shut up, Lillian. I'm not in the mood for you to criticize me today." Phil says to Lil half asleep while laying his head down on the soft stack of pancakes in front of him.

"I'm just trying to help, Phillip."

He looks up at Lil from his soft pillow of pancakes and traces of syrup in his hair. "Pointing out everything I do wrong isn't exactly helpful, Lillian."

"You know what? Just shut up, Phillip!"

"You Shut up, Lillian!"

"That is enough, you two!" mom got in between them to try to get them to stop fighting. "Both of you have a big soccer game this morning. I don't need you two fighting and losing the team spirit and the big game that we worked so hard to get too. So eat up. You'll need the carbs. You know we're going up against the biggest and the baddest team around. Now lets show them what we got!"

I got up from the table hot with anger and I just told her off. "It's always about soccer this and soccer that with you mom! I'm tired of it! Plus, it's always about Lil! She is the soccer star and the 'perfect little girl', so whenever you mention soccer, it's all about her and her 'perfectness' and I'm sick of that too!" I point to Lil and look at my mom with complete seriousness.

"Well I'm sorry you feel that way, Phillip." said Lil. "But it is what it is, so get over it!"

I snapped. I have had it with, Lillian, thinking she's so much better than me. "I'm done with you, Lillian! I want nothing to do with you, anymore! We are no longer twins and you are no longer my sister, you got that!" both of them were to shocked at what was just said. I quickly went up to my room and put on the quickest pair of clothes I could find. What did I just say? I felt guilty for a moment. I shouldn't have yelled at Lil like that. I undressed and took a shower first (mainly to get the syrup out of my hair and to give me a chance to calm down). I got into my soccer uniform shin guards and all. I remembered that I left my cleats down stairs. It would give me a perfect opportunity to apologize to Lil. I walk down stairs to find Lil sitting on he couch and it looks like she had been crying. Her eyes were red and puffy and when I entered the room she sharply glared at me.

"What do you want, Phillip?" she was obviously still mad at me.

"I'm sorry for what I said, Lil. I shou-"

"Just. Shut. up. Phillip." she is saying this as if it is killing her to say this. I was shocked at this. Normally, she at least lets me finish what I'm saying. "You ment what you said, and now, your getting what you want. You no longer have a sister or a twin. So, I suggest you go away!"

It takes me a minuet to process what she was saying. Then, it hit me. Why is she going with what I'm saying? She never does this. She knows that I say stupid things all the time, especially when I'm tired at six in the morning, so why is she taking me seriously? I was going to give the apology another try, but my anger quickly takes over, even though I didn't want to get angry. I just sort of happened. "Fine! I was going to apologize but, since you obviously don't want a brother either, I'll just go away! That will make you happy won't it?"

"I said go away, Phillip!"

"Fine!" I slam the door behind me.

* * *

What the hell is wrong with me? I wanted to apologize to my sister and I only make things worse. Of course, she didn't help at all thinking she knew what she was doing. I stopped walking. I was already half way to the soccer field when I realized something. Well... two somethings. One, I was barefoot. I had gotten so mad at Lil that I forgot my cleats and my feet hurt like hell. Two, Lil is usually smart and thinks about things. Why would she agree with what I said? I thought she loved me? She has dealt with me this long and nothing this bad had ever happened before and if it did; we usually settle it quickly. Does she really want to get rid of me? I paused and thought about it. It brought up all the old memories we had together. We would always play the games that required two players at the arcade, our trips to Twin Canyon were always amazing when we were together, and we would always play in the mud together when we were little (sometimes even now), and I remember my mom telling us that when we were a year old; they tried to separate us and we automatically didn't like it. Those were the times. Wait, what if she went along with it to teach me a lesson? Yea, that seems more like Lil. I have to know. I decided to go back to the house to go apologize to Lil.

I start to go back and I see Lil across the street carrying my cleats. She had a regretful look on her face when she walked up the path. She waited at the crosswalk when she saw me. Her eyes brightened and filled with tears as she called out to me. "Phil!" She runs across the street to embrace me. I saw a 18 wheeler coming up fast on Lil as she runs across the street. She's not going to make it. With adrenalin pulsing through my body, I run as fas as I could to get to her yelling, "Lil, look out!" she turned to look at the ever increasing 18 wheeler not even bothering to slow down. She stops in the middle of the street looking at the massive vehicle now a few feet from her like a deer in a headlight. I was not fast enough.

By the time I came to my senses, first responders had already arrived. I found myself to be on the ground still on the other side of the street. I try to get up but I'm so full of pain that I struggled to get off the ground to get to my sister. I don't know why I was in pain? I didn't hit the ground that hard. When I finally got to my sister, she wasn't as damaged as I thought she would be but, some of her limbs were in a different direction than they should and she was black and blue all over. Just looking at her increased the pain that I was feeling all over my body. I was feeling Lil's pain as well as my own emotional pain. I just might lose my sister for real... The thought was unbearable. I went over to Lil trying to be strong for her; it wasn't working. I called to her, "Lil, can you hear me?"

She opens her eyes and looks up at Phil. Her eyes show something that he had never seen before. They showed a different kind of love and inner peace that he had never seen in his sister before. It was different. She tries to nod her head I could tell what she was thinking. "No, don't move. You need to rest... Lil, I'm sorry for what I said earlier. I wasn't thinking. I was tired and annoyed... " my voice cracked. "I'm so sorry." I couldn't stay strong anymore. I just let the tears flow.

Lil started talking very softly and her voice cracked a lot. "Phil, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I made you feel that way. I didn't mean to. I said what I said to get you to realize what you had said because I won't always be with you, ya know." she coughed a little blood came out. The ambulance arrived and immediately took her. I rode with her keeping her company and trying to keep her from focusing on the pain.

* * *

The waiting room. That cursed waiting room. It might as well have been the end of me now. When me and Lil reached the hospital, she was going critical real fast. I could feel her slipping away. It hurts me to see her this way. The worst part about it, was that it was starting to sound like those daytime soap operas on TV. With that, I started to fill my head with all that day time drama crap and to make things worse, there was _Days of Our Lives _ playing on the waiting room TV. I had enough of that. Luckily, no one else was in the waiting room, so I turned off the TV. Not too long after that, my mom and dad came bursting through the doors of the hospital. I called to them, "Mom! Dad! Over here!" They both look over. Dad (Howard) looked more freaked out than usual. You could tell that he had been crying. Maybe, because, one, his daughter is in the hospital fighting for her life; two, he is freaking out being in a hospital because he is the biggest germaphobe on the planet. Mom (Betty) automatically came running over to me. "Mama's coming, Phil!"

She came over and nearly squeezed the life out of me. I thought I was done crying for a while. When she hugged me I started bawling all over again. "It's okay, Phil. Mama's here. Mama's got'cha" dad came and hugged me from behind.

Once the tear fest was over, mom just came out and asked me, "What happened, Phil?" I told her everything that I saw; from the 18 wheeler coming and the argument that we had before. "Don't you worry about, Lil. She's strong; she'll get through this." The thought was comforting but he wasn't sure anymore.

We waited till about noon when dad couldn't handle being in the hospital anymore so, mom had to take him home. "Hey, Phil. I'm taking your dad home before he has another mental breakdown and starts scrubbing the place down. You think you'll be okay if I leave you here? It will take a few minuets." I nod my head yes, still melancholy from earlier. They left the hospital leaving me with my thoughts.

What would I do with out her? She was the one always keeping me in line; always telling me what to do and planning things for me. She was always there when I had no one else; we have never been apart before. Even now, I don't know what to do and she is not even gone yet. I was just dozing off with my thoughts when I thought I heard Lil's voice. "Phil, Come here." It was weird. I knew exactly where she was and I went to her and she wasn't in the waiting room. I got to her hospital bed and she was practically immobile with all the IVs in her. She looked like she was on life sopport but I couldn't tell. Both of her legs were in casts, there were bruises all over the place; she looked awful. All she did was look at me and called in a soft voice, "Phil, come here."

We both looked each other and I knew. Her time is here. I went over to the bed. "Lil, no. What will I do without you? Your always keeping me on track; what will I do with out you?"

She looked up and smiled, "I'm sure you'll manage. I love you, Phil; don't forget that. Don't beat yourself up over this, it's not your fault." I could feel her slipping away. She knew it to. I started crying all over again. We looked at each other and we knew it was time. "Please, Lil. Not yet.

"Phil, I...Love...y..." the monitor went blank and beeped loudly. Lillian DeVille was gone.

"Lil! Lil! Please, no!" I collapses to my knees. The one person I thought I would never be without is gone. The person that would always play with me in the sand box and eat worms with me. The one person that I could talk to about personal things and how to talk to girls. Honestly, with out her, I don't know what I would be today... What do I do now?

* * *

**There will be a chapter 2 ready pretty soon.**


End file.
